Short fat bald lad mid 30's with questionable body odour and a dodgy internet history. Likes wearing shoes with track suit bottoms, naked scrabble, throwing cats at passing trains and drawing girls boobies onto walls of libraries. I would love to meet a slim brunette of similar age, non smoker non ugly for fun times and mainly back breaking housework. Must have low self esteem and a good knowledge of German folk music 1945-2000. I wait with baited breath girls....