Why did Hitler kill himself?

Because he saw the gas bill

Guy in a Jensen Interceptor stopped by police for driving at 85mph through a 30mph speed limit, the police officer says Give me one good reason why i should not give you the biggest ticket the world has ever seen? The guy says My wife ran off with a cop!. what the hell has that got to do with it? The cop yelled. the guy replied, I thought that you were bringing her back. ..

Newly wedded couple on their wedding night, bedtime, the husband took his trousers off and threw them at his wife and says, Put these on, the wife says but i cannot wear these, the chap says Exactly! Just remember, i am the one who wears the trousers in this house!. She threw her knickers at him, and says Put these on. The guy says, but i cant get into those, To which she retorted, Exactly! Unless you change your attitude, you never will either!.

blood hell! Come on all you comedians out there! Lets have your best.

Paddy in the pub says Bejezzuz mick, i had a bit of luck fishing last night, i caught a wael! Mick asks A humpback? Paddy replies, No,it was a bicycle wael .

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal there is a dog. Its a sh*tzu

Crap jokes. I laughed.