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@tazdevil | |
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I did not have a restful sleep. I had a very dramatic dream about this girl who I was friends with in the past, but I ended my friendship with her late last year because she never used to respect my boundaries. Moreover, she was a little insulting, and quite pushy and dominating at times. She also lied about her job. She was very secretive about it, but in time, I found out the truth and lost all faith in her. So I decided to discontinue my friendship with her as it was a toxic/abusive friendship. Took me a very long time though, before I was finally able to find closure with her. Anyway, coming back to the dream. In the dream, she turned up at my house unannounced. RUDE. Then she hugged me, and told me how much she had missed me (which sounds SO sweet, but it seriously annoyed me) I excused myself, and went to the kitchen to ask my mom for advice. My mother said- well, she has made an effort and used the petrol to get here, be nice and make her feel welcome. So I'm like smiling/giggling and being nice to this girl (forced) but then I remember how she always apologizes first, and then goes back to square one (disrespectful, IMO) so I tell her to leave. At this point, she starts crying (and even begs lol) and I felt like an evil horrible HORRIBLE person. I actually woke up with a headache, worrying about it coming true. STRESSFUL. I know the chances of THAT happening are very slim, but that b*tch is crazy. You never know. Just interested to know, what would you do if someone was asking/begging you for another chance (knowing that they don't really change and always go back to square one) and how would you tackle a situation like that without feeling guilty or horrible? |
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@iilmadme | 25 March 17 |
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A choice between trying to reassure them a bit n thank them for the apology but continue to protect myself n keep them at arms' length or just telling them it gives me no pleasure n thanks anyway but no.when you are genuinely sorry you know what you deserve
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@4juice | 25 March 17 |
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b***h please, you are missing her and you decided to keep your ego with you. You are having oneitis with this girl, thats why you dreamt about her. You dont dream something if you hadnt thought about it in your day.
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@tazdevil | 25 March 17 |
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Nope, I hadn't thought about her or missed her in a very long time. But I did have a little chat with a friend about her the other day so IDK? She was sweet, loving and we got along well. I liked her when she was like that, but most of the time, she was very pushy and over-bearing. Rude and insulting, at times. I felt like walking on the eggshells. It took a very long time before I was finally able to confront her. It was time to break some shells, and wake her up lol I realized that it was better to have my feelings hurt and end it, than to constantly live in fear of how she's going to act. |
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@jayna | 25 March 17 |
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Ahh ya still a mammy's  perhaps ya dream was a thought projection from ya ma, wishing ya would get from under her feet, get married and get ya own family.
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@iilmadme | 25 March 17 |
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Maybe it's gentler n braver to let them learn they cant get away with treating you badly than to let them think it wont mess up friendships in future
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@tranie | 25 March 17 |
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his mums gonna be waiting a long long time for him to get married and have a family, for a start hes a puff
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@mikeymk | 25 March 17 |
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Sounds like guilt-fuelled self-justification to me. 
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@tazdevil | 25 March 17 |
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@ iilmadme - 25.03.17 - 10:07am Maybe it's gentler n braver to let them learn they cant get away with treating you badly than to let them think it wont mess up friendships in future True! The confrontation sucks, but it needs to happen. On a few rare occasions, I have been surprised with a positive reaction. Sometimes, if a friendship runs true or deep enough, a change can take place for the better. |
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@tazdevil | 25 March 17 |
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@ mikeymk - 25.03.17 - 10:35am Sounds like guilt-fuelled self-justification to me. Maybe :( Because I did feel guilty and horrible when I ended my friendship with her. It was very difficult to make that decision, but in the end, it was the best for me. I think feeling guilty/horrible or even missing them is normal, but the alternative is much worse. Having a toxic person like that in your life. If you're anything like me, you try to make everybody happy and be at peace with everyone, sometimes though, that does not happen. But it's no reflection on your own personal character. |
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@tazdevil | 25 March 17 |
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Anyway, I'm NOT asking whether I should patch up with this girl or not etc etc etc  I'm asking, if someone turned up at your house (unannounced) asking for a chance, then how would you tackle a situation like that? Is it okay to turn them away? |
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