@lew15d | ||
This topic isn't ripping off the Just For Fun forum, but lets everybody who's a member of the group have a laugh. Tell jokes, random stories, or just gossip. You may want to talk about what you've been doing too. Remember, thanks for joining YourMP3s. Your best interest is at heart. |
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@cobusbo | 3 January 10 | |
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy When asked why such a big password, she said Well duuhhhh, it had to be at least 8 characters long ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (Sipho) asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked 'What are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office... When my co-worker (Sipho) followed me, the Boss asked him '...And where do you think you're going?' (You're gonna love this.....) He said, ... 'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark.' ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- there were a blonde and a brunette. they were going to go rob a bank and when they got there the brunette was like remember what i told you. the blonde said ok. the blonde opened the door and the brunette said 5 minute no longer. the blonde nodded. the brunnette wait and wait untell the blonde came out 15 minutes later... with a rope around her with the safe tyed around her wast. the guard comes running out with his pants around his ankles yelling stop. so the blonde couldnt put any more so she untied it and jumped in the van. the brunette said i told you to tye up the guard and blow the safe ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the b...lind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy.' The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN: Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anti te, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromatize, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, b*tter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, Anglicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, and start again. -- HOW TO SATISFY A MAN: Show up naked with food. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven. St. Peter said, I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out, and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever? Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. Yes, he informed the couple, You can get married in Heaven. Great! said the couple. But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven? St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground. What's wrong? asked the frightened couple. OH, COME ON!!! St. Peter shouted. It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer??? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was at an ATM when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud 'hiss pop' noise. The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold, explains the guide. The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple. Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine made a hiss hiss hiss pop sound. The man taking the tour said 'wait a minute. I understand what the hiss sound is, but whats the popping sound ever so often?' oh its The same with the baby-bottle nipples machine! A needle pokes a hole in every fourth condom, explains the guide. But that can't be good for the condoms, said the man. . The guide then said : 'yes, but its great for the baby-bottle nipple business! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Smart Kiwi Bruce is an Aussie Beggar, Trevor is a Kiwi beggar. They both live in Sydney and beg in different areas of Bondi... Bruce begs just as long as Trevor but only collects 2 to 3 every day. Trevor brings home a suitcase FULL of 10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend. Bruce says to Trevor 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of 10 notes every day?' Trevor says, 'Look at your sign what does it say'? Bruce's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'. Trevor says 'No wonder you only get 2- 3. Bruce says... 'So what does your sign say'? Trevor shows Bruce his sign.... It reads: 'I only need another 10 to move back to New Zealand ' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1) you cant touch all your teeth with your tongue.. 2) all idiots, after reading the 1ste truth, will try it.. 3) the first truth is a lie... 4) your smiling n0w because youre an idiot.. 5) you will soon tel anothdr idiot to read this.. 6) theres stil a stupid smile on your face.. |
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@proton | 3 January 10 | |
above post is tooooo big lol
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@lew15d | 3 January 10 | |
I love the password joke, Cobus! Proton, have you got any jokes, mate?
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@cobusbo | 3 January 10 | |
lol I got a few more but most of them are dirty types of jokes I got them inboxed from a group in fb
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@cobusbo | 4 January 10 | |
made my first registration and login php script yay
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@lew15d | 4 January 10 | |
How did you manage that? lol. Are they hard to do?
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@cobusbo | 4 January 10 | |
not really though I started with tutorials I downloaded but the basics of php is available free from the php site. Its really easy once you started you cant stop you feel like you are the king of the world when you are finnish I shared the script on the forum coding-talk.com they helped me through all the problems I experienced while building it I even setuped an Mysql database I can make my script more secure and continue building it till I reached a site like pro lol
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@lew15d | 4 January 10 | |
You'll have to make one, mate. I'd happily join.
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