Ok here's some extracts from my uncompleted novel. Not giving away plot or anything just examples of some things that make me laugh and hoping you'll laugh too. Characters names blanked out. criticism appreciated. . . . . . extract 1 . . . . . .it had recently become apparent that x x xx knew next to nothing of recent history- and even more recently, even less of less recent history. . . . . .. . . . . . Extract2 . . . On a bitter winters night such as this: when the babbling brook had frozen solid and now lay buried beneath blankets of drifting snow; when a howling north easterly wind tore up through the gorge, ripped the smoke from the cottage's crooked tin chimney and shredded it to ribbons; when freeze dried shrubs scr*ped and clawed at the cottage's small square windows as if desperate to reach the warm glow within; one might reasonably have expected the owner to be tucked up warm and snug in bed, but she wasn't. x x x x x x was wearing a tight-fitting beekeeper's outfit and was leaping around her garden shouting and swearing and thrashing at the air with a carpet beater . A hypocritical observer- one who spies on remote mountain cottages at midnight when it is 20 degrees below zero- might have thought her a bit mad.