oupas death

What is wrong whit me I can feel the stabing pains of tears bilding up but jet no tear com I'm angry and deprest I her my self screaming in the inside yet no sound comes out. A cloring litil and puses its way behind my back its my son not understandin why mommy is like this today but still doing his at most to convert not even to jet bing his mommys holder to cry on. I am one big bole of pain from my head to my toes all I wans is to sleep sleep this day this week this mont this year away. Things make more sens their yet less sens. I don't know all I know is...