(arrg) cant sleep

I'm laying in bed trying my ut most to sleep. This is driving me nuts my mind is Raising I miss robby I miss victor I miss just missing away. No I hat this not bing abel to sleep to be at peas for a short while and just dream. I prefer my dreams I get to she sharlie robby morne Victor all thows who I can't normally see it also takes me away from this BS of living whit my sister. She is really such a pain in the u know what. 22 more days jess then your out of hear 22 more days then u move back to middelburg. This year I have let my self go not living up to my own standards. My sebrighty I flushed down the toilet I hused for the fist time sins I found out I was gone be a mommy. I am such a hypocrite to make it wh*res a lying stealing hypocrite this is not me this is not what I want my self to be. And the newest dream of victor is hornting me I dreamed he was coming coming back a clean sober Victor the one who is the guy I fall in love whit, tack about delusions right pfffft. I really don't deserf to have an amazing bf like Dain this man is amazing every thing I could ever want ore need. His a grate dad so understanding so smart and funny so wow their is no other way to put it I really love him yet I dream about my ex I'm so scoured up. Well let me sighn off I really need some sleep peas out