**LETTER TO A MATERIALISTIC CRUSH...** [br]updated version

Dear Cindy,
I would have really really loved to start this letter by calling you your native name, I just love that name - reminds me of another girl I once tripped for in secondary school. But I know how much you hate been called Ogechukwu and so I will just have to stick with Cindy. So...Dear Cindy, the first time I saw you my heart skipped a beat...then another beat till I thought I was going to die. It wasn't skipping beats because of how pretty you were, I mean - you are as pretty as hell. Even blind people know that. But that wasn't why my heart was jumping like a butterfly when I saw you....*sighs*....My love, it was because I looked and saw that what you had on your head was a long brazilian hair and the bag that hung across your shoulder was a chanel bag. It made my mind fly, I swear to God. The stuff you were putting on looked like Gucci or Armani, I can't really tell - I just know it was a designers something. I mean, here I was - smitten and dazzled by your looks. But one look at you justread: no go area for broke, please try again never. I would have made a move on you that day if not that what I had in my pocket, home and abroad, was just 1k that I borrowed from Mike and, my love, I wanted to use that money for something very important. Not as if it would have done any good sha, I would have burnt it all for you right there and then without batting an eyelid. But what will 1k do kwanu? So that day I let you be, thinking of making a move on you was starting to make me feel like somebody was pressing my chest biko!...so I turned and ran. But the devil can be wicked sometimes sha. The next day you showed up again looking like a designers something and so I say to myself: dude, this is destiny, go for this babe. So I walk up to you, trembling like a fish because unlike yesterday I had nothing in my wallet today; except 150 naira - although the bulge of my wallet showed in the front of my trousers it was just that way because I had been stuffing complimentary cards into the poor thing - yes my love, I saw how you looked at it that day, na card full am. So when I started talking to you and I managed to make you laugh I would have sworn your laughter was designers too. Then when we were done you told me to come and see you to the Taxi Park outside. My love, at the mention of Taxi Park, my mind flew away. Yes o, it flew Taxi Park? Jesus! I mean, I'm a broke nigg*r - I don't have a car and you understood. But I knew you won't understand if I can't afford to pay for your Taxi. Because, let's face the fact, I knew why you wanted me to see you off to the Taxi park wasn't because you like my company (for where!). I knew it was because you wanted me to pay the Cabman. And so I had told you that, although it for sweet me die to see you to the Taxi park, I can't see you off because I was waiting for someone (shameless broke guy like me *sighs*). Yes, I'm still ashamed of myself for lying a broke a*s nigg*r lie. When, I called you the next day - you hadn't saved my number and so I had to explain myself all over again, something told me that if you had saved it you would've pick the call. You didn't recall who I was sha, till I reminded you I was the guy who didn't see you to the park. Of which you said; Oh. You...
...And I must have sworn there was disdain in your voice, the same way someone would have regarded a mosquitoe he missed when he tried to clap it to death. But today I was prepared. You see, I had borrowed about 5k from Joe because I wanted to treat you like a queen you were. And so I ask you out for a date and you agreed. I don't know why. But you agreed. So I take you out and I order soft drinks and meat pie for the both of us. When I was ordering it I knew it was a big mistake sha - Meat pie and Soft drinks, for a designers babe like you. When the couple in the next table were eating KFC chicken. But you see, I wanted to make sure you go home in a taxi and so I was keeping the rest of the money for the taxi man. But you gave me that look, like I was a stingy guy or something. Lol, me stingy? My dreams has always been to give the women in my life the best things money can buy. My mum, my sisters and you - the best things money can buy without any restrain. But I'm a broke guy and I can't afford those things...yet. So I try to have conversations with you, to try and use my sense of humor to give you a good time. But for where? The look on your face said it all: dude, you are dry, take me out of here - you meatpie buying piece of s**t. So as I throw dry jokes upon dry jokes at you, I finally give up, saw you to the taxi park and paid 3k for you to be transported home. Then I used the remaining 250 on me to take a bus. It's been 1 week after that day and you haven't been picking your calls. It's fine sha, I won't call again. But you see, I can't help been broke now - but I will see what I can do about it. Though, I'm realising it's not your kind I want in my life now. I want she who will accept me for who I am now, then when I start getting small small changes - I am going to turn her, gradually, into a designers woman like you. Just thought I should say this to you though. I'm sorry for being broke.
Yours Faithfully...
The broke guy who had a crush on you.