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@lapple | |
2 fish in a tank.. one says you drive and I'll man the guns |
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67
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5138
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0 Favourites
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@wolf1v36 | 24 August 19 |
2 crisps having a walk, a car stops the driver offers them a lift, they replied, No thanks, we're walkers.
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@kristy59 | 24 August 19 |
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@lapple | 13 September 19 |
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. |
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@lapple | 13 September 19 |
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
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@lapple | 13 September 19 |
went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
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@wolf1v36 | 14 September 19 |
I too went to the doctors and said My hair keeps falling out, Do you have anything to keep it in? Doc said yes, is this box any good?.
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@neptun3z | 18 September 19 |
Mary had a little lamb. So we ate bbq.
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@crail | 18 September 19 |
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@wolf1v36 | 6 October 19 |
Mary had a little lamb, she also had a duck, she put them on the table to see if they would fall off.
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@six | 6 October 19 |
Q) what's orange and sounds like a parrot? A) a carrot
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@teddig | 8 October 19 |
Q) whats black and dangerous and lives up a tree? A) a crow with a machine gun Q) whats white and swings through the jungle? A) tarzan on a fridge |
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@teddig | 8 October 19 |
Q) what did the big shhhhhit do when it could not sing? A) it lay on the grass hummin
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@kristy59 | 12 October 19 |
Nurse came and said doc, there's a man in the waiting room who thinks he's invisible, what should I tell him? The doctor replied, tell him I can't see him today ![]() |
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@lapple | 12 October 19 |
Next doors lad told me that my dog keeps chasing the postman on a bike, I told him it's ok I've took the bike off him
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@lapple | 12 October 19 |
*
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
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@lapple | 12 October 19 |
I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.
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@neptun3z | 23 October 19 |
A chicken walks into a bar. Barman yells oi we dont serve paultry around here chicken replies thats okay. I'll have a beer instead
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@jayna | 31 October 19 |
A lapple a day keeps the ![]() ![]() |
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@1owlcity | 1 November 19 |
Husband: Love, every night, I can't sleep at all. Wife: Why, Love? Husband: Maybe it's because I owed money to my friend worth 2 million dollars. Wife: If I were you send him a message that says, I can't pay my debt, so that you will calm down and he will be the one who can't sleep at night. Husband: That's a great idea! Now I can peacefully sleep at night, my Love. |
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@wolf1v36 | 12 February 20 |
What's
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