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@prattle | |
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Probably stretching hilarity there but nonetheless, this is a topic for tweets which you find funny or any other short stuff you think is funny, i will be stealing from Twitter only, enjoy b***hes..... |
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6 Favourites
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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It's impossible. said pride. It's risky. said experience. It's pointless. said reason. Ggrraadrttgrrtrr. said Chewbacca.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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I'm reenacting the War of 1812 with 47 gummy bears so I think the Ambien has finally kicked in. Casualties have been immense... delicious
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@GreenishDuck: This is your brain. *holds up a brain* And this is your brain on drugs. *holds up a brain wearing a weird hat and a scarf*
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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According to HR, white people aren't issued a race card, and they'd appreciate if I went back to my desk. *shrugs*
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@noogscorner: God: You take him. Devil: No way. You take him. God: Im not taking him. Devil: Neither am I. Lil Wayne: Whaa yall haa talkihhng aboo?
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@izrigrod: I'm so single my cat has a cat.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@CheryeDavis: The Police come right away when you tell em your baby is locked in the car... They don't however think it's cute to call your phone baby..
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@grimpossible: Hey son, we really love you but we posted a picture of you on Instagram and nobody liked it which is why we're giving you up for adoption.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@mikeysny: When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the math part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@AristotlesNZ: Need hospital etiquette advice. How long should you wait after they pull the plug to ask if you can use the socket to charge your phone?
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@trashy | 23 March 13 |
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@ prattle - 23.03.13 - 09:19pm @izrigrod: I'm so single my cat has a cat.  that tickled me
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@kelkulus: Nobody has 3 cats. You either have 1 or 2, but from there you leap directly to 17.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@Aspersioncast: So what do you pack for the end of the world? I'm thinking lots of toilet paper, oh and guns to protect my toilet paper.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@Reverend_Scott: Apparently you can't make a baby by adding water to baby powder, so don't waste your time.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@mellimelle: The older I get, the more I realize nobody is better than I am. Except people with statues of lions outside their house. They rule.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@Olligater: Someone should write a book where the character slowly falls in love with the reader.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@DepecheALAmode: If I owned a bar I would pour myself shots all the time, look in the mirror, wink and say It's on the house.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@ilovepie84: I've replaced my neighbors toothpaste with Napalm, and left him a free pack a cigarettes. Now we wait.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@trims_the_fat: I never wish death upon anybody who wrongs me. I wish sudden, explosive diarrhea while on a date Much more satisfying.
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@prattle | 23 March 13 |
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@MedikalMiracle: Hey, long time. Wassup? should be auto-corrected to Dude. Can you do me a favor?
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