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@redjewel | |
Any funny moments.. pick up lines... story ... jokes... u can share ... :p |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
The child and his mother: A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey? The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey! The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head. ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists. One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem. A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said Radar Trap Ahead. A little more investigative work led the officer to the boys accomplice: another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading TIPS and a bucket at his feet full of change. ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor: Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology? The sailor said no to all his questions. Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy. After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology escapology from sharkology? The professor said no. Sailor: Well, sharkology crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology you will dieology because of your mouthology. ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E. One boy says, Elephant. Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T. The same boy says, Two elephants. The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M. The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: Maybe an elephant! ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
A college student is deeply in love with his classmate but he doesnt know what to do to get the girls attention. One day, he came to ask the girl for help with his assignments and the girl agreed. Happily, he came to sit next to the girl the next day and took out a book pretending to read. After a little while, the girl asked: You must be a genius. How can you read a book upside down? ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
3 men died and went up to heaven. The guy at the gate said The better you were to your wife, the better kind of car youll get. The first guy was very loyal to his wife and got a Ferrari. The second man fought with his wife so he got a broken down car. The last guy cheated on his wife dozens of times so he got a scooter. One day the guy on the scooter saw the guy in the Ferrari crying. He asked him, Why are you crying? He answered, I just saw my wife on roller skates. ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
Two bold headed guys were fighting over one comb :-) ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
Once upon a time, a boy loved a girl and proposed but the girl said no. and and.. and.. the boy lived happily after |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
![]() The police asked, What is your name? He said Shut Up, then the police yelled, What is your name? He said Shut Up, then the police asked where are your manners? The boy said out in the park. Then the police asked, Are you looking for trouble? Then the boy said, Yes, how did you know? hehehe |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
![]() Chinese man: My country is the most improved country in the world. The day you conduct election, the next day you will know the winner. American man: It is a lie, it is a lie! My country, the day you conduct election, that day you know the winner. Nigerian man: As far as I am concerned, you are all joking. In my country, before the actual election, we know the winner!!! |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
A chemistry professor wanted to teach the 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. Now, class. Observe closely the worms, said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, as happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment? the professor asked. Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded Drink whiskey and you wont get worms! ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
![]() On the way, a Toyota car passed them very fast, the Japanese yelled Toyota made in Japan very fast. Then the Mitsubishi passed, the Japanese again yelled Mitsubishi made in Japan very fast. On the 3rd time, he yelled again when he saw another Japanese car. The taxi driver got angry but he didnt say anything. When they reached the airport, the taxi driver asked a charge of 800 rupees. The Japanese exclaimed: What! That is too much. The Indian driver yelled back loudly: Meter, made in India, very, very fast! hahaha |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
![]() UK historians: We dug and found out copper cable led all along major ancient cities, this concludes we were using telephones since long back. US historians: Thats it!! Dude, we dug and found out optical fiber. We were much more advanced in telecommunication since long back. Indian historians: Pity on you people, actually we dug and dug deep, but found nothing. This of course concludes we were using wireless communication since that era. |
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@qwenn | 12 October 13 |
@ redjewel - 12.10.13 - 02:58pm 3 men died and went up to heaven. The guy at the gate said The better you were to your wife, the better kind of car youll get. The first guy was very loyal to his wife and got a Ferrari. The second man fought with his wife so he got a broken down car. The last guy cheated on his wife dozens of times so he got a scooter. One day the guy on the scooter saw the guy in the Ferrari crying. He asked him, Why are you crying? He answered, I just saw my wife on roller skates. ![]() ![]() |
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@qwenn | 12 October 13 |
@ redjewel - 12.10.13 - 02:43pm The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an E. One boy says, Elephant. Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a T. The same boy says, Two elephants. The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning with M. The boy shouts from the other side of the wall: Maybe an elephant! ![]() ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
One day, 4 people were on a small aeroplane, a captain, a priest, a boy scout, and a smartest man in the world. They were all eating a nice meal until the pilot came out and said, This plane is about to crash. Grab a parachute and jump! The pilot then grabbed a parachute and jumped off. The smartest man in the world said, I need that parachute, the world needs my knowledge and so he jumped off. The priest said, Boy you take that last parachute, the world doesnt need me, I am just an old priest. The boy scout said, No, what are you talking about? There are 2 parachutes left. What? the priest. It is correct, the smartest man in the world took my backpack. responded the boy scout. ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
If animals have Facebook / BBM / WhatsApp, these are most likely to be their Status Updates: c*ckroach: Managed to skip from some ones foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle! Dog: My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her? I dont even remember Mosquito: I am HIV positive.. this is all due to wrong sucking. Pig: Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu WTF!! Goat: Friends, dont go out, Eid is coming soon. Chicken: If tomorrow theres no status update from my side, means Im being served at KFC. ![]() |
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@redjewel | 12 October 13 |
![]() Waiter: Good morning sir what can I get for you? Guy: Good morning to you too and how much is a cup of tea? Waiter: 1 dollar and 50 cents. Guy: And sugar? Waiter: We do not sell Sugar its free. Guy: Good. Bring 1 cup of tea and 2 Kilograms of sugar... hahhaa |
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@lakewolf | 12 October 13 |
I got cave men ![]() ![]() |
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@bhb143 | 12 October 13 |
@ redjewel - 12.10.13 - 02:58pm 3 men died and went up to heaven. The guy at the gate said The better you were to your wife, the better kind of car youll get. The first guy was very loyal to his wife and got a Ferrari. The second man fought with his wife so he got a broken down car. The last guy cheated on his wife dozens of times so he got a scooter. One day the guy on the scooter saw the guy in the Ferrari crying. He asked him, Why are you crying? He answered, I just saw my wife on roller skates. ![]() ![]() |
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