It's all cute to say that we shouldn't care about what people think or say, but social pressure doesn't allow anyone's true representation of themselves. This is mostly for Indian society. I've seen much more social freedom in Europe and America. Still, societal rules do exert some pressure everywhere. So what part of yourself did you have to hide/change/destroy in order to survive in the society?

I hide my dark sense of humor from almost everyone I know. lol

Same I have a half decent sense of humour, he tells himself in the mirror.

I think it's a very valid point. We are guided by social norms and expectations, as well as business demands, and so fourth.

Children will push barriers, and parents will enforce rules. This reflects the law as we get older. There are some restraints that just have to be there because people are fkn animals.

But there's a lot to be said for social uniformity. It's what helps peaceful people be peaceful.

And more minds are better than one. It's easy for one to go off the rails, get into weird stuff. Harder for multiple minds to agree the same.

I think it's easier these days to be a bit different. I bought a pair of girl's trainers as a teen because i preferred the colours. It didn't go down well. Thing is, i'm heavily colourblind and they just looked better to me. But that didn't matter, i was furniture, i was seen with people, and that affected them. And you have to consider that.

I kinda repress and conceal parts of my gender identity and expression. For many years, I had my leg pulled about being gay. Even though I'm sexually secure now and quite comfy being (a little) femme, I still sometimes mask certain things/mannerisms especially around the family/relatives/colleagues.

Sometimes if you don't conform to the societal standards, you get judged so bad. Even though I'm really good at hiding my gayness as much as possible, I'm learning not to destroy anything about who I am. It's hard (excuse the obvious double entendre)

you mention that there are more freedoms in europe and the usa, how do you think these ppl won this freedom ? Homosexuality was illegal in the uk not that long ago. People win freedom by doing ! Blacks in the usa only won freedom by protesting by taking to the streets by being beaten up by the cops, by being abused by the rest of the population. They stood firm and said NO in unison. I believe you have hijras in india ? they are officially excepted, its not that big a jump from society excepting ''Hijras'' to accepting gays. Go out there and be as openly gay as you want. You may get some abuse, you may get others standing by your side. you may just start a revolution.

No. Never had to tone sh*t down, hide or not do something. When I wanted to go out wearing make up, I did.

I hide my atheism sometimes irl, mostly with elderly people, or with my daughter's school.

I agree with you, but I don't mean this as an 'identity crisis' thing. I mean on a deeper level.

Like subjectively, I know I'm cute despite being scrawny and I'm sexually secure and comfy being gay, but that doesn't change the fact that I still hide certain things/mannerisms in certain situations around certain people and being excluded from objective/socially constructed beauty is still really exhausting and demoralizing. Does that now make sense?

What I mean to say here is, we all have expectations placed upon us by society, the same sex, the opposite sex, family and friends etc. Every single one of us has had or still has pressures and expectations placed upon us by others to conform to typical social norms, their own social norms (or whatever else you can imagine) which doesn't allow true representation of ourselves.

We all hide certain aspects of our lives (in terms of how we act/look/dress/behave etc) under all the stress, influences, social pressure and 'what will people say'

then that is for you to sort out yourself. It is you placing these restrictions on yourself. Just because society says dosnt mean you should give up. Be yourself and fk everyone else. Its your life no one elses.

I think in some way or the other, we all hide/change/destroy certain parts of ourselves to remain 'just another brick in the wall'

Like for example - lots of women (even some men) kill certain parts of themselves after becoming a parent. You're not supposed to have a life. You can't have fun. You can't go out. Hell, you can't take a break without being accused of being a 'bad parent'

Women are definitely punished socially if they fail to meet those standards/expectations. I have witnessed it with my own eyes. Some women can't be human beings, and have fun. They consider it against the 'lady code'

Even men are punished for the stuff mentioned in my original post. But I agree with you, you can either adhere to those standards/expectations (which I do not recommend) or you can give them the finger, and do whatever you want with your life.

Should I buy myself a d*ldo? Always wanted one, but never did. It's more a case of 'what will my family say' like my parents would be disappointed, disgusted and ashamed that their son will be shoving a 12 inch fake c*ck up his f*ggot p*ssy everyday.

If you want a di ldo go for it. Do you think your the only person in history to upset their parents by being gay? These things are all self imposed restrictions

This is the stuff you don't tell them. lol

Buy one and but tell your folks it's for therapeutic massage and enjoy it

I think most people probably have moments around certain people where they are what you might call 'hiding', but sometimes it's just about respect for others, you don't have to always say everything you think or act on every thought, and you can STILL be who you are. Caring about other people still matters. As long as you aren't breaking your own spirit to do so.

They don't need to know. Generally people don't discuss their sex life with parents. It's your personal business.

fu*k sake just get one. You'll only be annoyed you didn't do it sooner

''You don't always have to say everything you think''... Best advice ever, saves me from ranting too often lol