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@shadow27 | |
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*a ship looms into view with stars streaking in the background* ''Captain's Log, Stardate 2387.561: An encounter with the hostile race known as the Kerguelians had left the crew wary and exhausted. Luckily, we were headed toward a refuelling outpost in the Hermorpheus Sector... when a strange series of events occurred.'' ''Captain GT_TDI! I'm picking up strange signals from a planetoid at the edge of this sector, it appears to be a distress call.'' ''Lieutenant Bambi, what can you tell me about this? Is it using the standard frequency?'' ''Negative Captain.. Captain, this is strange. It appears to be an antiquated form of communication.. one not seen in more than two hundred years.''  ''Thankyou Lieutenant Bambi. Helmsman Taz? Plot a course for the... Helmsman?? What the devil are you doing kneeling in front of me? Strange man, return to your station at once! Don't make me put you on report again. Good lord.. Lieutenant Commander MikeyMk can we make this thing go any faster??'' |
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@9362 | 14 April 20 |
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@recurve16 | 14 April 20 |
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@mikeymk | 14 April 20 |
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Faster, eh? 
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@recurve16 | 14 April 20 |
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Oh oh everybody hold ooooooooon...
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@shadow27 | 15 April 20 |
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Helmsman Taz: ''Oh, sorry Captain I was just polishing your err um boots, sir! It won't happen again... *Mutters to self* while you are conscious..''  ''Also, sir... Did I mention that I'm gay?'' Captain Gt_tdi:  ''Mr 3Mel, you have extensive knowledge of this sector... Is there anything your massive Kleptovarian brain can tell us?'' |
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@shadow27 | 15 April 20 |
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Mr 3Mel: ''Indeed, captain. Did you know that the airspeed velocity of an unladen sw*llow is 50 to 65 kilometres per hour?'' Captain Gt_tdi: ''Well, yes.. thats very interesting Mr 3Mel But is there anything you can tell us about this particular situation we find ourselves in here.. right now?''Helmsman Taz: ''Did someone mention sw*llowing? Captain I'm an expert on this!''  Captain Gt_tdi: ''*mutters to self* So help me, lord..'' |
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@sensible | 15 April 20 |
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@shadow27 | 15 April 20 |
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Mr 3Mel: ''Yes, Captain. This sector was settled at least three hundred years ago by a strange pre-war Terran cult who were fixated on 20th century B grade science fiction movies. As such I believe we should approach this situation with caution.'' Captain Gt_tdi ''Excellent work, Mr 3Mel. Ensign Mokson, have quantum lasers on standby.. we don't know what we could run into here.'' Ensign Mokson ''Yes, Captain! If my time in 'Nam taught me anything it was to always be ready for anything! This one time me and the boys were approaching the enemy via a dried out creek bed.. and then..'' Captain Gt_tdi: '' Fml''
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@slick_01 | 15 April 20 |
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@ shadow27 - 14.04.20 - 01:23pm *a ship looms into view with stars streaking in the background* ''Captain's Log, Stardate 2387.561: An encounter with the hostile race known as the Kerguelians had left the crew wary and exhausted. Luckily, we were headed toward a refuelling outpost in the Hermorpheus Sector... when a strange series of events occurred.'' ''Captain GT_TDI! I'm picking up strange signals from a planetoid at the edge of this sector, it appears to be a distress call.'' ''Lieutenant Bambi, what can you tell me about this? Is it using the standard frequency?'' ''Negative Captain.. Captain, this is strange. It appears to be an antiquated form of communication.. one not seen in more than two hundred years.'' ''Thankyou Lieutenant Bambi. Helmsman Taz? Plot a course for the... Helmsman?? What the devil are you doing kneeling in front of me? Strange man, return to your station at once! Don't make me put you on report again. Good lord.. Lieutenant Commander MikeyMk can we make this thing go any faster??'' Captain GT_TDI : Captain, I'm picking up an Insteller craft moving at warp speed, it could be our old Nemesis Captain Slick_01 with his army of Kliyongs...'' Lieutenant Bambi : Oh bo11ocks Helzman Taz : Captain, I've set a 180 degree coordinates to collide head on with the Slick_01 craft, only to prove we will disintegrate him into oblivion Captain Shadow : Helzman you schmuck Lieutenant Commander Mikemk : Captain we can not make this thing go any faster considering we are running on 2G technology 
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@maxum | 15 April 20 |
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Good, but as always you're not adding enough inter-species tentacle love.
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@shadow27 | 15 April 20 |
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Captain Gt_tdi: ''Mr 3Mel, why do we suddenly have two different captains on the ship??'' ''It's a peculiarity of this region of space, sir. An instability in the metacausality matrix seems to have caused the narrator of this episode to manifest itself.. hang on. *Slams work station* That should do it, sir?'' |
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@shadow27 | 15 April 20 |
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@ maxum - 15.04.20 - 01:45am Good, but as always you're not adding enough inter-species tentacle love. Oh, I have something planned already.. |
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@3mel | 15 April 20 |
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@ maxum - 15.04.20 - 01:45am Good, but as always you're not adding enough inter-species tentacle love. an unladen tentacle monster can sexually stimulate 12 people at a speed of 46 miles per hour. |
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@shadow27 | 15 April 20 |
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@ maxum - 15.04.20 - 01:45am Good, but as always you're not adding enough inter-species tentacle love. Wtf!!! Maxum!!! Whaaat 
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@peta | 15 April 20 |
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Chop chop. Lets hear more. |
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@budgiesmuggler | 15 April 20 |
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@ 3mel - 15.04.20 - 02:30am an unladen tentacle monster can sexually stimulate 12 people at a speed of 46 miles per hour. what about if it's just one person ? asking for a friend |
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@3mel | 15 April 20 |
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ensign Taz says that's not survivable by anyone but the sluttiest of interstellar travellers who can deal with tentacles up-to the 24th suction cup.
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@shadow27 | 15 April 20 |
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I bet Maxum could take it. Oh yeah. That tentacle monster would be walking funny afterwards.
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@shadow27 | 15 April 20 |
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@ peta - 15.04.20 - 05:51am Chop chop. Lets hear more. Shh you can't rush genius. Please add your own excerpt. |
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@obi_jon | 15 April 20 |
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''Wake up Sheeple!'' shouted the pale withdrawn looking figure that had appeared out of nowhere. ''Oh for fuck's sake, it's Gary of the Q conspirium, again!'' said the entire bridge crew in unison. |
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