@tazdevil | ||
The sentence 'what will people say' has broken so many hearts and crushed so many dreams. Did you ever have to hide/change/destroy something about yourself? For example- Guys: Do you avoid purchasing anything pink because you don't want to look 'gay' or do you ever feel like wearing heels/makeup for a bit of fun or try something girly, but can't? Maybe joined a gym to get a model body and killer abs so as to conform to society's beauty standards? Ever had to hide any mannerisms so people won't snicker and label you as 'gay' or 'p*ssy' Girls: Same as above. Not the gay part, but you get it lol |
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@tazdevil | 1 June 19 | |
It's all cute to say that we shouldn't care about what people think or say, but social pressure doesn't allow anyone's true representation of themselves. This is mostly for Indian society. I've seen much more social freedom in Europe and America. Still, societal rules do exert some pressure everywhere. So what part of yourself did you have to hide/change/destroy in order to survive in the society?
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@birdy | 1 June 19 | |
I hide my dark sense of humor from almost everyone I know. lol
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@tazdevil | 1 June 19 | |
Same I have a half decent sense of humour, he tells himself in the mirror.
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@mikeymk | 1 June 19 | |
I think it's a very valid point. We are guided by social norms and expectations, as well as business demands, and so fourth. Children will push barriers, and parents will enforce rules. This reflects the law as we get older. There are some restraints that just have to be there because people are fkn animals. But there's a lot to be said for social uniformity. It's what helps peaceful people be peaceful. And more minds are better than one. It's easy for one to go off the rails, get into weird stuff. Harder for multiple minds to agree the same. I think it's easier these days to be a bit different. I bought a pair of girl's trainers as a teen because i preferred the colours. It didn't go down well. Thing is, i'm heavily colourblind and they just looked better to me. But that didn't matter, i was furniture, i was seen with people, and that affected them. And you have to consider that. |
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@tazdevil | 1 June 19 | |
I kinda repress and conceal parts of my gender identity and expression. For many years, I had my leg pulled about being gay. Even though I'm sexually secure now and quite comfy being (a little) femme, I still sometimes mask certain things/mannerisms especially around the family/relatives/colleagues.
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@tazdevil | 1 June 19 | |
Sometimes if you don't conform to the societal standards, you get judged so bad. Even though I'm really good at hiding my gayness as much as possible, I'm learning not to destroy anything about who I am. It's hard (excuse the obvious double entendre)
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@tranie | 1 June 19 | |
you mention that there are more freedoms in europe and the usa, how do you think these ppl won this freedom ? Homosexuality was illegal in the uk not that long ago. People win freedom by doing ! Blacks in the usa only won freedom by protesting by taking to the streets by being beaten up by the cops, by being abused by the rest of the population. They stood firm and said NO in unison. I believe you have hijras in india ? they are officially excepted, its not that big a jump from society excepting ''Hijras'' to accepting gays. Go out there and be as openly gay as you want. You may get some abuse, you may get others standing by your side. you may just start a revolution.
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@deusexmachina | 1 June 19 | |
No. Never had to tone sh*t down, hide or not do something. When I wanted to go out wearing make up, I did. |
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@crimson | 1 June 19 | |
I hide my atheism sometimes irl, mostly with elderly people, or with my daughter's school.
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@tazdevil | 1 June 19 | |
@ tranie - 1.06.19 - 09:15am you mention that there are more freedoms in europe and the usa, how do you think these ppl won this freedom ? Homosexuality was illegal in the uk not that long ago. People win freedom by doing ! Blacks in the usa only won freedom by protesting by taking to the streets by being beaten up by the cops, by being abused by the rest of the population. They stood firm and said NO in unison. I believe you have hijras in india ? they are officially excepted, its not that big a jump from society excepting ''Hijras'' to accepting gays. Go out there and be as openly gay as you want. You may get some abuse, you may get others standing by your side. you may just start a revolution. I agree with you, but I don't mean this as an 'identity crisis' thing. I mean on a deeper level. Like subjectively, I know I'm cute despite being scrawny and I'm sexually secure and comfy being gay, but that doesn't change the fact that I still hide certain things/mannerisms in certain situations around certain people and being excluded from objective/socially constructed beauty is still really exhausting and demoralizing. Does that now make sense? What I mean to say here is, we all have expectations placed upon us by society, the same sex, the opposite sex, family and friends etc. Every single one of us has had or still has pressures and expectations placed upon us by others to conform to typical social norms, their own social norms (or whatever else you can imagine) which doesn't allow true representation of ourselves. We all hide certain aspects of our lives (in terms of how we act/look/dress/behave etc) under all the stress, influences, social pressure and 'what will people say' |
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