of people arechased about and devouredby starving lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tinyroom in which there is abeautiful young blonde withan alluring look on her face,sitting at a table on whichthere is a bottle of the finest wine. To Bill's delight, he seesa PC in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill saysI'll take this option. Fine, says Satan, allowingBill to enter the room. Satanlocks the room after Bill. Ashe turns around, he bumpsinto Lucifer.

Ashe turns around, he bumpsinto Lucifer. That was Bill Gates! cried Lucifer. Why did you give him the best place of all! That's what everyone thinks snickered Satan. Thebottle has a hole in it and thegirl hasn't! What about the PC? It's got Windows XP!laughed Satan. And it'smissing three keys, Which three? Control, Alt and Delete.

Q) According to Apple what isthe leading cause of Ipodtouch's overheating?A: Downloading images ofMegan Fox

A man walks in a bar with hisipod...He suddenly realises he needsto fart.He logs into Itunes and ups the volume thinking 'the music is loud no one will hear' So he farts...When he looks around, everyone 's staring at him Then he realises...He was listening to his ipod with headphones.

At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has,we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon. In response to Bill'scomments, General Motorsissued a press release stating (by Mr. Welchhimself):If GM had developed technology like Microsoft,we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever your c

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this restart and drive on.

. 4. Occasionally, executinga maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car,unless you bought Car95or CarNT. or latest one But then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make acar that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single general car default warning light. 8. The airbag system would say Are you sure?before going off. 9. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabhold of the radio antenna.

10. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps(now a GM subsidiary),even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminishby 50 or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by theJustice Department. 11. Every time GM introduced a new modelcar buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the sam