New Husband Store. A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store only once! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose 1 item from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman go to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor1- These men have jobs. The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor2- These men have jobs and luv kids. The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor3- These men have jobs, luv kids and are xtremely good lookin. Wow, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep goin.

She goes to the 4th floor where the sign reads: Floor4- These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good lookin and help wth housework. Good heavens, she exclains, I can hardly stand it! Still she goes to the 5th floor and reads: Floor5- These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, will do all the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She feels tempted, but goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads: Floor6- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

A Womans Prayer. Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep. One who's handsome, smart and strong, one who's will is thick and long. One who'll make love until my body is twitching, in the hall, the garden or kitchen. I pray that this man will love me no end and will never attempt to my best friend. And as I kneel and pray by my bed, I look at the you sent me instead!!

From 20 to 30 if a man lives rite. He does it twice in the morning and twice at nite. From 30 to 40 if a man lives rite. He misses a morning and sumtyms 1 nite. From 40 to 50 its just now and then. From 60 to 70 its god knows when. From 70 to 80 if hes still inclined, but dont let him kid u darling its just in his mind. His sporting days r ova. His lil lite is out. Wot used to be his s*x appeal, is now his water spout. It used to be embarrassing to make the thing behave, for nearly every mornin, it stood and watched him shave. Now its getting older it sure gives him the blues. To have it dangle down his leg, and watch him clean his shoes.. Lol

gd 1 spud. 3 monkeys escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watchin tv... Anutha playin football and the 3rd 1 was caught readin this msg.

Hi. Just wondered if i can stay with u 4 a couple of days. Every1 is so off at me.... I need a friend.... Sender Osama Bin Laden

Husband 2 his wife: Why u never tells me when u have an ? Wife answered: Oh i dont want 2 bother u at work

A lion a bear and a chicken are all talking one day. The lion says im the most feared animal in the jungle everytime i roar all the other animals move away from me. The bear says well every time i growl all the mountain animals run in fear. The chicken says thats nothing all i need to do is cough or sneeze and the whole world comes to a stand still

how do tell the difference between a dog whining at the front door n a woman whining at the back door. The dog stops whining when u let it in

Woman 2 Dr. I need my aviaries looked at doc. Dr. Dont u mean ovaries? Woman. Well u tell me. Dr looking. Hmm yor right. Aviary. Theses been a atoo in there.

Sinner. Forgive me father 4 i have sinned. I alot, i enjoy , among other things. Priest. Is that u. (insert yor name here)

Theres only 1 thing thats worse than a woman that can cook but wont. Its a woman that cant cook but does.

An Archaelogist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

A woman likes 2 have 4 animals in the house. A jaguar in the driveway. A fox in the closet. A bull in the bed, and a numb skull 2 pay 4 it!

Anxious husband called hospital to find out about his wife thats in labour*accidently he called the criecket stadium!How are things?He died after hearing this reply*fine!3 are out,we hope to have the remaining 7 out by lunch time,and the last 1 out was a duck!A DUCK!

Steve irwin walls through the pearly gates into heaven, as he does he is greeted by st peter who informs him that he can have whatever he wants he just has to wish for. A couple of days later steve returns to st peter clearly distressed and angry, he says, I asked for a Croc, not a Brock!

A country family was visitin the city 4 the 1st time ever and were in a mall. The father and son were strollin around and amazed by almost everyfin they saw but especially by the moving silver walls that slid apart then back 2getha again. The boy asked his dad, Pa, Wot is that? Dunno son was the reply. Iv never seen nefin like it b4 either. While they were watchin, a old lady in a wheelchair, rolled up 2 the wall, touched the wall near where they opened and as if by magic they opened and she rolled in. The walls closed and the pair watched in amazement as the numbers above lit up in order, Stopped, then started descendin again. When they reached no1 the walls opened and out stepped a gorgeous,voluptuous blonde in her early 20s. The dad not takin his eyes off the lady said quietly 2 his son, Boy go get ya momma

2 pen*ses burst in2 a bank shouting 'this is a stick up', just then a vibrator entered the bank and 1 pen*s said 2 the other, 'fyck its robocok'

Ive won a trip for me and 30 mates for 2weeks aboard a luxury yacht in fiji and we each have 1500 bucks spending money. Can u plz feed my dog while im away?

The post office has issued a new stamp with a v*gina on it for womans awareness week. It has caused a lot of confusion as men are unsure of which side 2 lick