A rabbit runs & hops & lives only for 15 years! A turtle doesnt run, does nothing, yet lives for 450 years! EXERCISE IS HELL, SLEEP WELL! Be lazy, Go crazy!!

How gals think be4 replying..

Guy: Hey...
Gal (to herself): Oh my God.. he just texted me.. I wonder what he wants.. maybe he just wants to talk.. maybe he's mad at me, i mean all he said was hey.. I should just answer him, i dont want to keep him waiting..well maybe ill wait another 3 minutes so he thinks im busy.. no, thats too obvious. Could this mean he's into me? Or is he just bored? Either way is fine, i mean i dont care if he likes me back. who said that i even liked him?! im just gonna text him back now. Should i reply hi or hey? or hey with three y's? no thats stupid. 2 y's works. He wont know if i did it on purpose or if it was just accidental. Okay. I got this.
Breath in, breath out.
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Gal: Heyy..

When you Dont know what you are doing, do it neatly. :-D

A boy touched his girl friend..

Girl said.. dont touch me..all dat only after marriage..

boy said ok .

call me after your marriage!

Daughter-I am in love with neighbour,so I am running away with him.
Dad-Thanx dear,u hav saved money & time.
Daugter-Dad! I am reading dis letter left by mom!

Always remember:

When SHE cancels a date, it is because..
SHE HAS TO

But

When HE cancels a date, it is because..
HE HAS TWO :-)

Dad : What do you want to be when you grow up?
Son : A soldier!
Dad : But you might get injured by enemies!
Son : Okay! Then I want be an enemy!

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did :-D

Rascalla Rap :

The length of his hair changes shot-to-shot One moment he's bald, then he's not, Thats all the acting you will see of this fella,Sanju Baba, you rascalla!

If Mausam ticked off the Indian Air Force, Then the Navy should cry themselves se, For he maligns them, he's such a killa, Ajay Devgn, you rascalla!

First in a bikini, then in a frock, Her acting akin to a rock, So how big was that chequella, Kangna Ranaut, you rascalla?

Your intelligence it will insult, Your senses it will assault, This movie is really hella, David Dhawan, you rascalla!

Two conmen trying to be funny, Really audience, the jokes on you, What theyre stealing is your money. David Dhawan, Rascals itself is a crime, And my license to write bad rhyme.

A girl phoned me the other day and said Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. And Nobody was home. :-D

3 Men were drunk, they stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them,we have arrived. The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks but the 3rd guy slapped him. The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them must have realized that the car didn't move an inch. so he asked,what was that for? Guy Replied, control your speed next time Dude,you almost killed us... :p

When i told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.. :-D

Science vale Sochte h k Rose kaise bana?
Arts vale Sochte hai k Rose kaise Draw kare?
But
Commerce vale Sochte hai k Rose kise De?
Dat's marketing

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He wont expect it back.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Hard work never killed anybody but why take a chance?

Height of ATTITUDE :-
I am JEALOUS of my parents,
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Bz I will never have a kid as smart as theirs!

Husband : (sends an SmS to wife)- Hi darling! what are you doing?
Wife : Am dying!
Husband : [ Jumps with Joy] but asks- Oh darling how can i live without you?
Wife : You Idiot!! Am dying my Hair!
Husband : blood English language ! :-D

Women always worry about the things that men forget. And men always worry about the things that women remember.. :-D

I love 2 walk in the rain ..so that no one can see my tears.. :(
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I love 2 walk in the fog so that no one can see that i am smoking. :-D