Dear joe,

i stated knowing and listening you during my highschool days, I was 24 years old now, i keep on searching how can i get in with yoour program or maybe i was too shy to let other people know about my life. to my freinds i was like you i give them advise and listen to their problems but its so hard for someone like me to tell anyone that like them i need also someone to count on... here's my story..

I was 19 years old when the first time I fell inlove,but the man i choose to love is married and have 3 kids.i call him Mr. P he was a supervisor in a well known company we started as text mate and we go more than that boyfreind/Girlfreind we enjoy time together when i graduated in college year 2006 i finally decided to give my self to him i know its wrong but i do loved him...at the end of the year something happened his wife cought us in a restorant it was so shy his wife was verry angry i run and i was crying, down and deppressed. i go home with sadness i thought it was the end after 2 weeks i received a call from him his voice seems crying and i ask him why? he said his wife and his children leave their home because of what happen he said that he's lonely, alone and deppressed he wanted to die i ask him if he wants me to come on his place he said NO. joe, he wanted to stop everything about us i was so shocked and i felt the my heart could break down that time. I have a deep thinking and deep breath and finally we decided to end our relationship....i thought it was the end of my life. but was a bread winner of my family so i must go on with my life, i work hard. but its not so easy. on my despair i got different boyfreinds and i don't give love for each relationship i had. but joe, something happen one day, i have my regular chat mate that i met personaly I call him Mr. T we dated, we eat and we talk. he's good but i have a strong feeling that i don't have to give my trust on him. he brought me home and we exchange numbers. he's calling regularly and he ask again for another date.and i accept his invitation. joe, we eat dinner, we talk but not like our first date we go to place more private and we had night together it was a mixed felling coz i never loved that man.i was confused and afraid not to hurt again. i cut the communication between us i change my number and i don't even answer his phone calls as if i don't know him.i continue flirting other guy because i still loved my first boyfreind. one day i checked my yahoo mail at the office and Mr. T send me a message I Love you so much hope we can talk over the phone here's my number 09******.
joe, i ignore his message but i don't want to delete it. after 3 days i checked again my emails no message from Mr. T but I have his last message and i decided to contact him. he replied and we exchange messages after a few days we decided to met again as usual i expect him that we go to a private place again but joe, we went to their church and we attend christian felowship service and after that we went to his sister's house we eat and watch tv. something is more different than before. i learned how to appriciate him and learned to be curious in his life. its not so easy to adjust.formally we have a true relationship. i drop all my side activities and i concentrated with our relationship.september 2007 he decided to work abroad. i was so lonely each day i pray, hoping that he's beside me. i really missed him so much.we chat during his day off but its not enough... jan 2008 he decided to back because of his bad employer. he missed me so much same with me. everyday we spend together in so much loved i stay with his house and sometimes i came home late or sometimes i spend the whole night with him to the point that my parents get mad at me i never give them a part of my salary it came worst that my parents wanted me to leave the house.my father confronted Mr. T about us and he said he really loved me. my parents gave us permission to live together without merraige we plan to get married this june 2008 but i was 3months pregnant now and we decided to rent our own house it was so hard to budget and manage our income. he was employed as Executive Driver and i was working as HR staff in makati. we don't argue about money before but now i started asking him. one day i read a message on his cell phone he have exchange messages with a girl telling her the girl that he wanted to see the girl in some place. i was so mad and confronted him who's that girl and he refuse to answer insted he reverse the topic he said that i was never been a virgin when he met me and he was confused if the baby i was carrying is his own child? i was so mad i trow everything on him because i felt so bad. i scream and i cry...we don't even talk for the past few days but after that we reconcile he got he's salary and i got mine too but he never give me a part of his salary now i started asking him where's the money he refused to answer i handled all the bills and budget for the month and now i ask him if he still have money coz we have a shortage for the budget and he said none i get mad at him coz he didn't even pay or save anything. Joe, i was thinking now that he was enjoying other bussiness with someone else? i was spending a hard time how would i know that he was hiding something or his not? i told him if he's not serious with this relationship he's free to decide. joe, is it a time for me to let go of him? do i have to be with him inspite of this? please let me know.... Thank you and Godbless!