.Oubaas: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College. Friend: Really, what is he studying. Oubaas: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

..Oubaas: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night. DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok. Oubaas: Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is final game.

...Oubaas: If I die, will u remarry? Hilda: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry? Oubaas: No, I'll also stay with your sister.

Oubaas complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?' Oubaas: 'I was watching 7de Laan...'

.Oubaas comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine.' He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'

..How do you recognize Oubaas in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the whiteboard.

...Once Oubaas was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So Hilda asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

Oubaas in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

.Oubaas: Why are all these people running? Hilda - This is a race, the winner will get the cup Oubaas - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

..Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense. Oubaas: The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

....Oubaas told Hilda: 'Go and water the plants!' Hilda: 'It's already raining.' Oubaas: 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

Oubaas besluit dis tyd dat 'n man van inbors 'n status motor koop. So gese so gedaan. Hy kan nie wag om vir Hilda sy nuwe tots te wys nie. Tuisgekom roep hy vir Hilda om na die motor te kom kyk.
Hilda: Agnee Oubaas dit is dan 'n stokou motor die. Hoekom het jy dit gekoop?
Oubaas: So dat die mense kan di*nk ons is lankal ryk my nartjiepit.

Mooi man!

Oubaas: So by my koolkop my nartjiepit, ek lees nou net hulle het die plek gekry waar vrouens vandaan kom. Hilda: Rerig Oubaas? Waar is dit? Oubaas: Fattis en Monis.

Die platgeslane Oubaas is heavy depressed en besluit om sy berader te gaan sien. Oubaas: Ek wil van Hilda skei. Berader: Hoekom broer? Oubaas: Sy het seker 'n jaar laas met my gepraat. Berader: Jy moet tweekeer dink. Sulke vrouens is dem skaars.

A tired Oubaas came home from work one evening and there was his wife Hilda in the kitchen crying out loud. What's the matter, darling? Oubaas asked her. I just don't know what to do, said Hilda. Because we were eating in for a change, I cooked us a special dinner - but the dog has just eaten it. Don't worry, said Oubaas, I'll get us another dog.

Een jaar is Oubaas en Hilda op 'n sakevakansie oorsee en kry email van hul prokureur wat lees: Skoonma, oorlede. Ons wag vir u instruksies. Oubaas antwoord terug: Ek het geen instruksies nie. Prokureur antwoord: Ek bedoel moet ons haar begrawe, veras of balsem? Oubaas antwoord: Moenie kanse waag nie, doen al drie!

Oubaas en Hilda toer in die woestyn. Hul 4X4 gee die gees. Oubaas het 'n radio by hom. Oubaas se: My patatskil hul se dit gaan vandag 45 grade hier in die koelte wees. Hilda: Genade, Oubaas, maar dis darem baie warm! Gelukkig is hier nie bome nie!

Oubaas, 'n gelowige man, gaan jag. In die bos storm 'n leeu hom. Hy bid vinnig en desperaat ... Here, laat dit 'n Christelike leeu wees, is al wat hy uitkry. Die leeu stop by Oubaas, sit sy poot op Oubaas se kop en se: Seen Heer die voedsel wat vir my voorgesit is en maak my opreg dankbaar daarvoor. AMEN

A long married couple, Oubaas and Hilda, came upon a wishing well. Hilda leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. Oubaas decided to make a wish, too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. Hilda was stunned for a moment but then smiled, 'It really works!'