A woman once sed a man is like a deck of cards u need a heart 2 love him a diamond 2 marry him a club 2 hit the a ova the head and a spade 2 bury him x

3 man sittin in a bar! 2 foreignerz n a south african.. Da first 1 throwz his glass in da air n sayz: in my country we neva hv 2 drink in da same glass twice, da second one throwz his glass in da air n sayz:in my country we hv a lot of sand we make glass n dan da south african takes out hes gun shootz both of them n sayz: in my country we neva drink wit da same man twice...

A worried father confronted his daughter one night. 'I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and blood stupid with it.' 'Oh no, Daddy,' the daughter replied, 'Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month.'

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead cat. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, 'Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter!