before you critisize someone yuo shld walk in their shoes that way when you critize them youre a mile way and have their shoes

ability is wat will get you to the top if ur boss has no daughter

if love is blind why is lingerie so popular

who says nothing is impossible.i've been doing nothing for years

hard work never killed anybody'but why take a chance
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

kiumaga mburi kieremia Arume.

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.

If you don't know that you don't know what you don't know you are a fool!

Nothing works like work.
if you don't work hard, you will live hard.
Why drink and drive when u can smoke and fly??
Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts

ignorance is bliss

beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked to but if you press the wrong b*tton you'll be disconnected!


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a
coin; they just can't face each other, but still they
stay together.
The most effective way to remember your girl friend's birthday is to forget it once...
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits He's lost?

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. - Joey Adams
Life is 5% of what happens to you and 95% how you respond to it.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was You'll never find anyone like me again! I'm thinking, I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you.?
1.A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce
2.My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher
3.Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn't
4Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you
1.Shopping is better than s*x. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.

2.An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her

1.The four most important words in any marriage...I'll do the dishes.
2.If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married
3.The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.
4.Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
1.Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!
2.Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
I remmember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
Rodney Dangerfield

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

The only job you start from the top is digging a hole

virginity is not dignity but luck of opportunity
men are after 3w's war wine women
weather? its da worst coz it might change from bad to worse and you come home and ua wife(woman) tells you to get the out of my house and bed.and the next day u go to work dozing n ua fired. so it can be the start of youe all problems.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
2.You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
3.Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just f*** off and leave me alone!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and/or a flat tyre.

The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if u r going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

s*x is like air. It only becomes really important when u aren't getting any.

Remember, no one's listening until u fart!

If u think nobody cares whether u r dead or alive, try missing a coupla mortgage payments.

Give a man fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish, and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day

Good judgement comes from experience, experiences from bad judgement

Experience is something u dont

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but some just abuse the privilege.