ITS CRAZY HOW AT ONE MOMENT EVERYTHING IS SO CLOSE TO PERFECT AND IN A HEARTBEAT ITS GONE AND YOU LEFT WITH NOTHING BUT PAIN WHEN YOU LOOKING BACK AT THOSE PERFECT MOMENTS I RAISE MY HAT TO THOSE WHO ARE ABLE TO DEAL WITH THESE THINGS AND PUT IT BEHIND THEM AT THIS VERY MOMENT I AM FILLED WITH NOTHING BUT PAIN AND SADNESS AT EVERY TICK NOT KNOWING WHAT THE NEXT SECOND BRINGS SCARES ME FOR IM LOSING WHAT I USED TO BELIEVE IN AND IM CRYING ONCE AGAIN BREAKING IN MORE THAN ONE PLACE I SIT BACK ON MY BED AND I LOOK DOWN ONLY TO BE FILLED WITH ANXIETY AND PANIC SEEING WHAT IVE DONE AND WONDER WHEN WILL I GO DEEPER WHENS IT GOING TO END THIS ED WORLD IS ALWAYS IN THE WAY AND TRY SHUTTING IT OUT BUT IM LOSING THE FIGHT THE ENERGY THE FAITH AND THE LOVE I USED TO KNOW THIS GAPPING HOLE IN MY BODY IS TWICE THE SIZE AND I BOW MY HEAD DOWN ONCE AGAIN CLOSE MY EYES AND WAIT FOR PERFECT SILENCE ONLY UNTIL THE DROPs *it THE FLOOR ONCE MORE AND I KNOW IVE RELEASED EVERYTHING IM FEELING UNTIL THE SOUNDS OF THOSE DROPLETS STOP AND I HAVE TO OPEN MY EYES AND RELIVE THE NEVER ENDING DREAM OF UTTER OAIN ANGER AND SADNESS ALL OVER AGAIN KNOWING IN A FEW HOURS I CAN GET BACK TO THIS PLACE AND RELEASE IT ONCE MORE CONTROL WHAT EMOTIONALLY I CANNOT DO MY TEARS WASHES MY ARMS CLEAN AND I SIT AND STARE OUT MY WINDOW STARING INTO UTTER DARKNESS. THE WINDOW TO MY SOUL