Behind every gr8 man is a woman rolling her eyes! Jim Carrey

How many ppl here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. Emo Philps

Im not afraid of death, i just dont want to be here when it happens. woody Allen

I dont need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. Stephen Fry

I feel sorry for people who dont drink. When they wake up in the morning, thats as good as they're going to feel all day! Frank Sinatra

I failed to make the chess team because of my height. Woody Allen

I have a love interest in everyone of my films: a gun. Arnold Schwarzenegger

I love mickey mouse more than any woman i have ever known. Walt Disney

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx

My theory is that all scottish cuisine is based on a dare. Mike Myers

My mother was against me being an actress - until i introduced her to Frank Sinatra. Angie d*ckinson

One picture is worth 1000 denials. Ronald Reagan

A s*x symbol becomes a thing, i just hate to be a thing. Marilyn Monroe

A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defence than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom. Martin Luther King Jnr

Boxing is a lot of white men watching 2 black men beat each other up. Muhammad Ali

You Know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terrorism! George W Bush

Our enemys are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people. And neither do we! George W Bush

To be a great champion you must believe your the best. If your not, pretend you are. Muhammad Ali

If Jesus Was A Jew, How Come He Has A Mexican First Name?
[Billy Connolly]

The Great Thing About Glasgow Is If Theres A Nuclear Attack It'l Look Exactly The Same Afterwards [Billy Connolly]