High Infidelity Why monogamy is soooo passe. Married people can't seem to keep it in their pants these days. People are swinging, swapping, plain-old cheating and letting their spouses bone anyone, will-nilly. Has 'forsaking all others' become some trite cliche you mumble right before you head to the reception to get loaded? Is monogamy dead? Since the Bush administration is obsessed with the sanctity of marriage, we figured we'd look into the state of some unions right here in Philly. And what better time than the annual gag-inducing, hearts-and-flowers cluster we know as Valentine's Day? We decided we wanted to know who was who, how they went about it and why. Funnily enough, there's plenty of reasons to hand your wife the keys and say, 'See you in the morning, honey. Do you have enough Trojans?' Victor is a 44-year-old white Republican middle manager for the local branch of a national communications corporation. He has a 'gorgeous' 29-year-old wife he pimps—unbeknownst to her—over the Internet, mostly to well-hung Arab guys. 'My wife likes Arabic men. Don't ask me why, she just does,' explains Victor. Some of the guys she goes home with are men that he has sent her way, not all of them Arabic. The fact that his wife sleeps around is cool with him—they have an open marriage; Victor just wants to help out. And since he says he wanted to marry her when she was 19, he figured he'd allow her to 'go out and sow her wild oats.' A few months ago, he set up a profile describing her on an adult Web site. When he gets responses he tells inquirers he's actually her husband and picks guys to send out to meet her at whatever club she goes to. 'If they seem to match up with my wife,' Victor says, 'I guide them in her direction.' He acts as her middleman, orchestrating some of her liaisons, although she gets laid plenty on her own. 'I tell them exactly what to say or do to get my wife's undivided attention. It's like hitting a home run every time. 'The guys think it's fantastic. But I say listen, here's the deal: This is not a guaranteed bang. You have to put effort in.' While not exactly your typical sacrosanct marriage, Victor's works out—sort of. He says he's happy, and feels that his wife has the 'best life ever.' The fact that he's trying to pull strings behind the scenes may have something to do with his belief that on some level, his wife wants to be controlled—the reason he feels she has a thing for what he calls 'extremely jealous' Arab men. Dr. B. Hibbs, a psychologist and licensed marriage and family the at Philadelphia's Center for Contextual Therapy, says, 'A lot of people studied open relationships when they first started [getting attention] in the 1960s. The [findings] were not very good for these relationships. When couples come to me, one partner is in high distress and it's destructive [to that partner].' Brian is a paramedic instructor. He lives in the Northeast with his wife of nearly two years a