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@cptpants | |
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Why the fuss about Lady Gaga in a meat dress? Ages ago I saw Chas 'n' Dave in a Pork Pie hat. |
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@mztiklz | 16 September 10 |
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I aint seen gaga in her meaty mahem yet but id imagine it would be as gross as lady tata in stockings and suspenders some s**t just aint right 
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@cptpants | 16 September 10 |
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Whats with all the pope coverage on tv...Catholics clambering everywhere.....They should save time trying to glimpse the pope. Their own parents live much closer and are just as hmophobic and out of touch
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@cptpants | 16 September 10 |
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The Pope is protected by Swiss Army guards, they're not the toughest but they do have an attachment for getting stones out of horses hooves.
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@cptpants | 16 September 10 |
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Pope Benedict. Yes, but it's who he dict that I'm worried about
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@cptpants | 16 September 10 |
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The Pope is head of the Catholic Church, the Queen, the Church of England, but which one's best? There's only one way to find out... FIGHT! (I want Harry Hill's job)
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@cptpants | 16 September 10 |
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People have been charged 25quid to see 83yr old Pope Benedict XVI. That's just money for old pope (i will stop with the s**t pope puns now)
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@cptpants | 16 September 10 |
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After hearing George Michael was to make a bid for Freedom, prison staff questioned why he'd go looking on eBay for his own songs
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@flutta8y | 17 September 10 |
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i have bin t rome. And wen there we went t the vatican. U mention the swiss army. Did u no their uniform resembles a jesters outfit? Really scary! It was designed by a famous artist, i can't remember who, but he must've had a sense of humour!
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@flutta8y | 18 September 10 |
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michael angelo! I think he was the one commissioned to design the uniform. Amazing the things u remember at 3 in the morning! 
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@cptpants | 18 September 10 |
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I prefered his later collaboration works with the ninja turtles
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@cptpants | 18 September 10 |
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Susan Boyle lost Britains Got Talent and gets to sing for Pope Benedict...confirming he's never liked Diversity
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@cptpants | 22 September 10 |
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Match fixing allegations have now spread to Athletics, apparently competitors in the javelin tournament have been paid to throw it.
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@cptpants | 22 September 10 |
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When I saw that the Pakistan cricket team were playing England this summer I thought they'll give us a run for our money.
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@cptpants | 22 September 10 |
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Global dementia costs have hit 388bn. Grrr, that makes me mad!
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@mztiklz | 2 October 10 |
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Your pope jokes were pope u lar with me ok il stop lmao, you would  harry to the kerb hunny no doubt, you totally crack me up  x
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@cptpants | 5 October 10 |
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So....finally the Mr Grimsdale Reaper came calling for him. Norman Wisdom RIP
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@cptpants | 13 October 10 |
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i see the miners are all coming out.....i knew all that time in a confined space with just men for company, would turn them gay
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