Fifty Shades of Grey - A husbands view

The missus bought a Paperback,
Down Shepton, Saturday.
I had a look inside her bag;

T'was Fifty Shades Of Grey.

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread

In her left she held a rope
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago.
I might have had a peek.
But Mabel hasn't weathered well,
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind,
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse,
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet,
A couple minutes later.
She put her teeth back in and said
I must be the dominater!!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered.
I'd spent two months in traction,
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked,
Bent forward just a bit.
I went to hold her, sensual like,
and stood on her left tit!!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out,
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
Step on the other one!!

Well readers, I can't tell no more..

About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.