A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this... 'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day.

The man she met said, Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away.

So the lady says, What makes you think you are great in bed?

Bob replies, I rang the door bell didn't I?

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. d*mn, that was stupid, she thought as she fell. What a way to die.
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, Do you s*ck?
No! she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. Do you screw? he asked.
Of course not! she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. I s*ck! I screw! she screamed in panic.
sl*t! he said, and dropped her.