Feel free to submit all your funny jokes here.. I will start with this one, Hope you like it:::::: Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic. Mick
packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is that
the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get
there. When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. Roy give
me the bottle opener I didn't bring it says RoyI thought you packed
it Mick gets worried, He turns to Andy, Did you bring the bottle
opener?
Naturally Andy didn't bring it.
So they're stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Mick and
Andy beg Roy to go back for it. But he refuses as he says they will eat
all the sandwiches. After two hours, and after they have sworn on their
tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he
still isn't back and Mick and Andy are starving, but a promise is a
promise. Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a
promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a
sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from
behind a rock and shouts I KNEW IT'......I'M NOT GOING!